Where Trouble Melts Like Lemon Drops

Dedicated to my wonderful Grandparents Sandy and Irwin Frishman, who inspire me. 


I run across the platform with an overly dramatic superhero soundtrack playing in my head and slip through the closing subway doors just in the nick of time. Out of breath, I scan the car for an open seat next to someone relatively harmless. My options are limited: sit next to the obnoxious woman yelling into her phone or the snoring old man. I choose the latter and take my seat. Startling me, he opens his eyes and inquires, “Like a lemon drop, son?” I generally prefer keeping to myself, and public transportation gives me enough anxiety as it is, so I give the slightest shake of my head towards his direction and make a show of putting in my earbuds. I close my eyes and tilt my head back until it bangs against the metal wall of the subway car. Chris, it’s fine. Ten more stops, and then we will be home. Can you stop freaking out? You’re being dumb, I tell myself for at least the tenth time in the last hour. I turn up my music. 

The train comes to a halt, and I feel a light tap on my shoulder. I open my eyes and see the old man staring up at me. A little red cap sits slanted on top of his white hair, and his big brown eyes look like they are sinking far behind his wire-framed glasses; they don’t look sad, though; actually, I think they are smiling, as much as eyes can smile at least. He looks too happy to be an old person. 

“You hear what stop we at, sonny?” he asks. 

“West 72nd Street,” I reply. 

“Quit mumbling! What was that you said? 56th?”

Speaking as loudly as I can muster without feeling stupid, I repeat, “West 72nd Street.”

“Well, why didn’t you just say so. Where are you, headed? This subway is taking us downtown, right?”

I am deeply embarrassed to be having this conversation. Why won’t it stop? I reluctantly reply, “Yes. Downtown, sir. I am, um, making my way to West 4th Street.”

His eyes smile and he responds, “I have some very fond memories of that neighborhood. Back in the day—” I picked the wrong seat. Shit—“we hung out there every night shooting the breeze, fooling around, and getting into all sorts of trouble. I could tell you some good stories if you were interested, of course?” 

He was looking at me expectantly. If he wanted to “shoot the breeze” or whatever, he chose the wrong guy. I don’t want to be rude though, so I’ll just sit here. You should say something; just sitting here saying nothing is just as rude as ignoring him. It's literally the same exact thing. At least turn yourself in his direction, and if he wants to talk, he will. I turn my head and acknowledge his existence, which earns me a small smile. Did he just roll his eyes at me? 

“Let me start from the beginning, it was way back in 1954. It was a Saturday - I remember - my day off from working in my parent’s candy shop. On summer days, the Russian boys of the Lower East Side met up in Washington Square Park. You know West 4th Street, it was the hot place to be, and maybe it still is; I don’t get out much these days. We were on our way to a protest. It feels like I spent that entire decade protesting for one cause or another. We had a lot of beliefs, a lot of anger, and frustration. We craved the high. We had learned there was nothing sweeter than sticking up your middle finger to authority. We washed our “fuck yous” down with a bottle of stolen beer and left slightly more satisfied than we had arrived. Sonny, you know what happened on May 17, 1954? And tell me your name while you’re at it.” 

“It’s Chris and I don’t remember, sir,” I say. Yes, we are actually talking. That was good. This isn’t so bad. I turn myself a little more in his direction. 

“Do they teach anything to you kids these days—” That seems like a rhetorical question; I don’t need to respond. “I swear my grandson, he’s ten, rambles on for hours about people who live inside the television, but he is otherwise absolutely clueless. I get a feeling you're not like my grandson. Time will tell. Oh, I apologize! You're sitting on the edge of your seat, and your knee is bouncing up and down, up and down. I didn’t mean to leave you on a cliffhanger.” What is he going on about? He has barely begun whatever apparently long-ass story he has insisted on telling.  

“It’s okay.” 

“Where was I?” I think this is also rhetorical. “Well? Don’t leave an old man hanging. Where was I?” Oops. 

“Sorry, you and your friends were going to a protest. May 17, 1954.”

“Oh yes! On the 16th, we were on our way to protest segregated schools. I had barely made it through high school myself.  But let me tell you - you don’t need an expensive degree to know right from wrong. Anyways, the park was packed. An hour or so went by. My arm was getting sore from carrying a picket sign, I was drowsy from drinking, and honestly, I wanted to head home for a nap. As I was leaving, on my way to do just that, I saw a girl. She was soaked from head to toe in what seemed to be water. Her blue skirt clung to her body, her blouse had become slightly translucent, her blonde hair was matted, and she was smiling from ear to ear.” 

The old man is closing his eyes as he speaks. There’s a trace of a smile on his lips, but not one of a blissful nature. He looks somewhat pained. The train comes to another stop. We are at West 4th Street, ironically my stop, but I don’t want to leave. This is a new feeling for me; I usually am desperate to go home, especially in the midst of conversation. 

“We are at 14th street, sir,  my stop,” I suddenly exclaim, surprising myself and the old man. I don’t think he had even noticed the train wasn’t moving. My anxiety about almost missing my stop overrides the strange sensation of wanting to stay with the old man, and I get up from the seat and quickly exit the subway car. As I walk up the stairs, I hear someone call my name.  I stop and turn around to find the old man climbing up after me, one slow step at a time. I’ve stopped in the middle of the staircase. People are bumping into me from every direction; they are probably annoyed with me. You need to move, I don’t like this. I turn my back to the old man and, two steps at a time, I make my way to the corner of 4th street, safe from all the rushing people, to wait for him. It takes him a few minutes, but when he emerges from the underground he is still smiling. 

“Come on then, Chris. I’ll show you where it all went down,” he calls to me. 

“Yeah, okay, if you insist,” I say, mocking my reluctance. “You seemed kind of sad back there. When you were talking about that girl.” 

“Did I?” 

“Yes, sir.”

“Quit calling me sir.” 

“Alright, si— alright.” 

“She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, you know. More beautiful than my wife, but keep that to yourself.” 

“So you didn’t marry her then? That’s why you seemed so sad.”

“No, I didn’t marry her. But I wouldn’t have been sad about that. You want a hot dog? I could eat an ox!” 

Without waiting for my reply, he heads farther into the park towards the hot dog stand. We pay for our hot dogs - well, I pay for our hot dogs - and take a seat on a bench. We are facing the arch. It’s a warm sunny day, one of the first of the year, so the park is cluttered with people picnicking, playing music, skating, and tanning. Some are even in bikinis, which I think is a little premature. I feel comfortable watching the people, the newly green-leaved trees, and the fountain from afar. For a moment I forget I’m not completely watching life alone. Right next to me is a stranger, another living being. A stranger I am talking to like I would a friend. 

He points to the fountain and says, “Sandy, the girl I had been talking to you about, looked right back at me and said ‘I went swimming.’ I was no good with girls. Never serious enough; was always joking around too much. I had never really had a reason to get serious. But there she was. Smiling and soaking. And there I was staring back at her, never looking more serious. ‘Get dinner with me;” I stated. She made some excuse about how she was too wet to go anywhere presentable. I told her I didn’t care, it was hot out anyways.” 

“You just asked her to go out with you? Just like that? You have game, old man.” 

“I don’t know what that means.” 

“Never mind. Sorry, I interrupted.” 

“Why are you saying sorry?” 

“Because I should have let you finish. I’m sorry.”

“Stop being ridiculous. This is a conversation, son. You are meant to reply, and then I’ll respond. And then you are free to talk again if you so desire. And here I was just beginning to think you weren’t a lost cause.” 

“Sorry.”

“Good God!” 

He plops the last bite of his hot dog into his mouth with a satisfied grin before continuing the story. 

“After some convincing, she said yes. Is that still what you call a good game?” He asks.   

“Sure.” 

“Good. I took her to my favorite hot dog stand. You know it.” 

“You took her to this hot dog stand? For a date?!” 

“She absolutely loved it. She was an NYU girl with a rich papa. She was used to restaurants where they pulled out your chair and laid a silk napkin on your lap, but she still said the hot dog stand was the best meal she had ever had. We dated for three years after that. I asked her daddy if I could marry her. He said no.” 

“Why did he say no?” 

“Apparently, from birth, she had been betrothed. A family friend’s son. The guy was graduating from Harvard Law. He was going into politics. Her father told me he could be president one day. I think he cared more about the guy’s trust fund though. He told me there was no world in which a boy like me, an immigrant’s son, would marry his daughter, a Manhattan socialite, a girl from old oil money. I felt so embarrassed, so unworthy.”

“He was wrong though. You loved her. And she loved you right?” 

“She was in love with me.”

“So, that makes you better than Mr. Trust Fund.” 

“I thought so too, which was why I proposed to her anyway. And why she said yes.” 

“But she’s not your wife.” 

“I’ll get to that.”

“Okay, sir—Okay.” 

“I heard that,” He said with a smirk. “I proposed to her in the fountain.” 

“What do you mean in the fountain?” 

“I got down on my knee right there in the fountain.” He begins to get up from the bench, struggling for a moment to regain his footing on the pavement. Once he’s stable, he walks towards the fountain, leaving me alone on the bench. I get up to follow him, but before I can catch up - he is walking surprisingly fast - he has two feet planted in the fountain. 

“What are you doing!?” I scream. He gets down on his knees using the edge of the fountain for support. People are staring, and I’m starting to panic. Of course, he is crazy. You should know better than to talk to strangers let alone spend the afternoon with one. We can’t leave. In too deep. Go help him. I run over to the edge of the fountain and give him my hand. 

“This is what I did,” he explains. “Just like this, I got on my knees in the fountain. I asked her to marry me and she said yes!” 

“Do you need help,” I say, still extending my hand? “Come on, please get out.”

“You’re such a buzzkill, you know. It wouldn’t hurt you to have some fun,” he says, swatting my arm away. “Get in with me.” 

“Absolutely not.” 

“Come on. I’ll buy you an ice cream.”

People are still staring at us. A woman walks over to ask if we are okay; the old man happily informs her that we are doing swimmingly. He laughs at his own pun; I kind of want to throw up. When she walks away, apparently content with his response, he asks me to get into the fountain again. Just do it. Who cares, you don’t know these people. You will never see them again. It shouldn’t matter if they think you are a lunatic. Worst case, you get a little wet. But, then mom will ask me why I am wet. What will I say? What if I do know someone here? Someone from school could be here. They will tell everyone I go swimming in fountains with old men. I am so tired of convincing myself in and out and in and out of things. I think that is why I step into the fountain: to tell the voice in my head to go to hell. The old man gives me an encouraging nod, and I lift my back foot from the concrete and into the fountain. I give my hand to the old man again. This time he takes it and gets up from his knees. And then, with a purpose unknown to me, I run straight for the center. The water sprays at me from every direction. It’s in my eyes and my mouth. In seconds, my clothes are soaked through. I am crying; the tears mix with the water. They are happy tears, I realize. I am smiling. I feel free; alone in my head, but not physically alone because the old man is here with me. He’s laughing and watching me. I’m sure everyone is watching me actually, but I don’t care. For the first time, I don’t care. 

We get out of the fountain. He gave me a pat on the back, saying he was proud. I was proud too. I decide he should dry off quickly, I don’t want him to get sick from his damp clothes. We walk to the closest pharmacy in comfortable silence. When we get to the counter to pay for the towels from Duane Reade’s small cheap home section, I grab some Caramel Nips; the old man had started to cough quite a bit and had insisted the caramel lozenges would help. I smile at the girl behind the cash register. I usually don’t smile. I usually have a get in and out as quickly as possible mentality, but today I smile. She smiles back. 

“We went swimming,” I blurt out. 

“I can tell,” she says with a laugh. Her laugh is light and airy. I want to hear her laugh again, but I don’t know what to say next. I am just standing there. Chris, say something, at least pay, so you can leave. I hand her the money for the towels and cough drops. 

“Would you like a lemon drop, dear,” the old man says to her.  Does he not realize how creepy that is? 

“Yeah why not,” she responds. 

He pulls out the lemon drop from a small cloth bag in his pocket. He places it into her palm, and tells her, “It's a family recipe. Now, could you also give my friend here,” he gestures to me, “your number? You won’t regret it.” Oh. my. god. I cannot believe he just did that. OH MY GOD. Someone save me. Kill me now, please. I need to leave. 

“I am sorry about him,” I say in a fluster. “You don’t have to eat that or give me your number. I’m sorry.” 

She unwraps the candy, examines it for a moment, before dropping it into her mouth. I feel a little mesmerized. 

“This is delicious! I would be happy to give him my number. If he wants it, of course,” she tells us. 

I nod before I can convince myself otherwise. 

She gives me her number, writing it out on the lemon drop wrapper and pressing it into my palm along with my receipt. We leave the store; I summon the confidence to look back once more; she’s still smiling. Outside the store, the old man and I go our separate ways. He gives me a firm handshake, and says, “It’s been a true pleasure, my boy.” And with a final pat on my back, he’s gone. I watch him slowly walk away and yell, “Thank you, sir!” before he can turn the corner. 

I wander a few blocks and look down at the crumpled lemon drop wrapper, still in my hand. I quickly dial the number. 

“Hey, it’s Chris. The guy who went swimming.” 

Raise Your Hand if You Want to Go Back to School

A New York Times opinion submission.

I think all Gen Z-ers will remember the moment they learned schools would close for a two-week period. There were people who cheered; they didn’t yet understand the extremity of the situation; they didn’t yet know that two weeks would turn into months, and for many, over a year before they would enter their school building again. 

My New York City private high school reopened its doors towards the end of October 2020. As a junior, I can attend school in person a few days a week. On the first day back, there were six excited students in the classroom with me while the other half was present on Zoom. After the first week, the students per class dropped to three or less. Now, in many of my classes, I am the only student who attends in person. 

The difference between the days I am home and the days I am in school is drastic, to say the least. Sitting in the classroom, face to face with my teachers, and side by side with other students (the few that still show up), makes learning more dynamic and encourages conversation and connection, with minimal distractions. From this experience, I truly appreciate that learning in that ideal setting is both a privilege and a gift. So why are students choosing to stay home? 

Outside of legitimate pandemic-related concerns, for the majority of my fellow private-school classmates, attending school and making the most out of their education took a backseat to their personal convenience. I agree that the perks of at-home school are enticing: periodic naps, attending in pj’s, time for snacking and exercising, sleeping in, and a break from high school social anxieties. 

As much as I hate waking up early, I am not ready to sacrifice my education for another hour of sleep. The hard part is that I didn’t realize the toll online school was taking on both my mental wellbeing and my education until I went back to school. The research is clear, without debate, live school is better.  If online school remains a widespread option, students may opt out of in-person learning before having or taking the opportunity to remember what being an in-person student feels like.  Call me old-fashioned, but I miss when notes were taken with paper and pen, cell phones were locked up in backpacks, science experiments were hands-on, and when reading a book, you actually held a real paperback. The kids of today and future generations deserve an education that is not dominated by a computer screen. They deserve live social interactions with their peers, support from and connections with their teachers, and the chance to navigate a community outside their own family. 


Works Cited

Bellafante, Ginia. “Are We Losing a Generation of Children to Remote Learning?” The New York Times, The New York Times, 6 Nov. 2020.

Academic, Mental and Physical Benefits of in-Person School Outweigh Virus Risks, Pediatrics Group Says.” ABC7 Los Angeles, KABC-TV, 1 July 2020. 

Stern, Evan. “Benefits of in-Person Learning Outweigh the Risks.” The Michigan Daily, 21 Mar. 2021.

Do you think me handsome?

“Miss Winds, are you there?” now demanded the Mayor. 

“Yes sir, I shall be there in just a moment,” I called from the other side of the wooden paneled door. 

At this time of night, when the moon is high in the sky and the stars, though obstructed by gleaming apartment lights, are surely now visible, there is no other living soul haunting New York’s mayoral office aside from myself and, of course, Mayor Momo. I shuffle a few papers around on my desk to keep up the appearance of being busy, of being a good aide, and hurry into the Mayor’s private office. He is sitting beside the fire, a scotch in hand, and his usual stagnant expression is plastered on his face, not entirely different from a smile painted on a clown. Despite the seemingly unmoving curl of his lips, one fit for a politician who delivers both desirable and concerning news while maintaining popular support, he is not utterly ugly. The broadness he lacks is made up for in height. The only hint of his age is a slightly receding hairline and specks of white at his temples. Without fail, the Mayor is suitably dressed and, for the most part, charming; I find charming and cunning travel in pairs, with the latter whispering the directions of a warped moral compass.

I take my seat on the swivel chair across from the red plush couch in the center of the chamber where the Mayor is reclining. 

“Miss Winds, you act as though you are afraid of me. Why don’t you come sit beside me?” 

“I am quite alright here sir,” I knew to utter these words would be fighting the inevitable with an unloaded gun, so instead, reluctantly, I moved to the far end of the couch. For the first time, the Mayor turned his gaze away from the television broadcasting CNN news, a program I had learned was his favorite. 

“Do you find me handsome Ms. Winds for an older sort of man?” 

“Handsome sir?” I faltered mid-sentence. Did I find this man, this plastic statue, to be handsome? I would not declare it so. “No.” The words slipped from my lips before I was finished thinking about them. It was at this singular exclamation that the once impassive expression crumbled into a sort of smile or grimace; I could not be sure to either extent. He must be appalled; I will be jobless by morrow. 

“You truly do not find me the slightest bit handsome?!” he exclaimed. I attempted to interject, to apologize, to get on hands and knees, figuratively of course, but he continued speaking ignoring my fumbled interruptions. “In my career I have had many aides, yet, none so bold, none so honest. I admire your bluntness, though it is lacking in the proper confidence. To be blunt and honest is a liberty and one that I, as a wealthy politician, do not possess or have any use for. For these reasons, I quite enjoy basking in your unfiltered comments. Your candidness is refreshing and compensates, though barely, for your otherwise ordinariness.” 

For a moment the reasons I was here escaped me. I was bewildered. What steps had I taken to earn such a title: ordinary? Then I remembered I was here to have a purpose, to be useful, so I held my tongue. 

Shifting in my seat I mumbled, “Is there anything else I can do for you sir?” 

“For starters, you may speak clearly. I would most appreciate it if you would stay awhile and chat with me. It has been a long day and like I said I enjoy your company; it is in many ways a novelty.” 

“Sir, if you insist on my remaining here, with you, in this office on this plush red couch, may I pose a question?” 

“Go on,” said Mayor Momo presently. 

Choosing my words carefully, I was intent on restraining my impulsivity. I asked, “Would you consider yourself a politician of philanthropy, a man of and for the people you might say?” 

“Why, that is not a simple question. It makes sense you would inquire considering your age and undeniable innocence. A politician who is indeed a true philanthropist is just as real as fairies or Santa Claus. If this is enough to satisfy your inquiries and to earn me your continued support I will assure you I try my very best to be one of the good ones.” 

In return, I bestowed upon him a slight nod, one that alluded to approval but was in no way a presentation of enthusiasm. I did not believe him. I was ready to retire for the night, but I knew contrary to my heavy eyelids, the excitement of the encounter would entrap me in thought and hinder my sleep. The words “Do you find me handsome Ms. Winds for an older sort of man?” pounded relentlessly, creating engravings on the forefront of my skull; the phrase visible in my mind's eyes even when my droopy lids closed. 

 

Disclaimer: Any relation that this writing has to current events is merely a coincidence. This is simply an emulation of Jane Eyre. 

The Burger King

The President, one of the great men in power at the Capital, held his summer soirée at one of his grand towers in New York. The President lounged in his gold crested chambers awaiting the arrival of his nightly cheeseburger, the epitome of luxury within the President’s vast sustenance repertoire. His guests mingled in the outer rooms eagerly anticipating the arrival of their President, their king, the Holiest of Holy Ones. Alas, the guests would have to wait a little while longer in those gold-adorned rooms to be graced with the princely pompous presence of the President. The waiters, all four, hurriedly approached the bed of the President, who sat with his square orange-tinted head propped up on a silk, parrot stuffed pillow, tweeting. The wisps of hair on the President’s head spiked up creating the shape of a crown, but soon his hair and his crown would fall to the ground with great protest from the President and his assembled guests and army. Yet, on this sacred evening’s soirée, his wispy crown remained intact and prominent. 

The President’s burger was always accompanied by four wide-eyed waiters in black suits with the letter T embroidered in gold stitching on the breast pockets. You would have thought they would have gotten used to his foreboding crown and small lips that were always curled into a scowl even when he smiled, which was often at his own juvenile jokes. You see, they couldn’t get used to the President's holy appearance because at least one attendant was fired a night. The first waiter would lay the gold tray on the plump lap of the President. If laid down lacking the proper care his actions would be considered to be of the highest offense, and promptly, the first waiter would be sacked. The second waiter, with great flair, presented the bun, always homemade and always poppy seed, along with the pink meat which glistened with the reflection of the gold crested chamber and iridescent spiked crown. If it wasn’t homemade the President may have combusted and died. The third waiter offered the President fresh lettuce, which was always refused, leaving the fourth waiter to add the shimmering sizzling cheese which matched quite nicely with the President’s complexion. Finally, the fourth, and final attendant, squeezed and spread the ketchup with great concentration onto the top bun and placed it on the precipice of the growing tower on the President’s lap. The four waiters shuffled out of that gold crested chamber like their lives depended on their swift removal from the unrelenting gaze of that spiked wispy crown. The President, left to his own devices, sent his tweet, and with great ease swallowed his burger in three grand bites; he could swallow and claim many things with ease and was by countless liberals supposed to be rather rapidly devouring the Country with each grand bite and each holy tweet. 

It was important not to test the patience of the President; he got rather enraged when challenged and when things didn’t go his way. During those trying times, the four men, along with a fifth for french fries, were required to return to that gold chamber and allow the President to consume his emotions while he secured the crown on his head with soldiers of tweets armed with holy slurs. The world watched in dismay as he pounced on his prey, yet they were not blinded by his glinting gold or his “Holiness”; the liberals dreamed of battles armed with ballots. But it is not winter yet. 

Explanation of Emulation: 

If I only had a sentence to describe Dickens’s descriptions I would compare them to a stuffed suitcase where the zipper only closes by exerting extreme effort. His writing is overflowing with similes, metaphors, repetition, social commentary, and sarcasm. In this piece, I tried to emulate the first page or so in the seventh chapter of the second book describing the Monsieur and his chocolate habits in a contemporary scenario. With details of superfluous luxury, like four decorated servers, Dickens mocks the Monsieur and the way he lives. Correlating with this luxury I depicted five waiters serving the President. Dickens also says “the Monsieur” countless times throughout the passage, so I wrote “the President” in almost every line. I think by repeating their names their “importance” and their ridiculous expectations are emphasized. Dickens is sarcastic by referencing the Monseigneur's “Holiness” and with comments like; “Deep would have been the blot upon his escutcheon if his chocolate had been ignobly waited on by only three men; he must have died of two.” I emulated this sarcasm in my writing by also referencing the President’s “Holiness” and his “certain” death if not served adequately. Additionally, I mimicked his social commentary by including details about how the world viewed the President and how he is “devouring the country” like the Monsieur is “swallowing France”.